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Three Billboards You’ll Never See
by Tommy Gimler Turns out Albert Pujols is not a huge fan of the Angels’ marketing campaign this spring. 20 billboards across Southern California show a picture of Pujols along with the phrase “El...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Cleveland Indians
by Tommy Gimler Shelley Duncan in left. Lonnie Chisenhall at third. Jason Kipnis at second. A rock legend behind the plate. In the words of the longshoremen in Major League, “Who are these fuckin’...
View ArticleTribe Fans Are A “Slap In The Face”
by Tommy Gimler To paraphrase the great Harry Doyle, “In case you haven’t noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven’t, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are leading the...
View ArticlePuking Chris Perez
by Tommy Gimler Usually after a closer saves a game for his team, he and his catcher high five each other with maybe a little pat on the ass or two, and the entire team jogs onto the field to...
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Worse Promotion Than Free Cleveland Steamers?
by Tommy Gimler Nobody, not even my good buddy and avid Browns fan Josh Clark, will argue that if you lined up the entire Cleveland Browns roster next to twenty paper bags filled with dog shit, it...
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Charles Ramsey Gives The Greatest Interview In The History of Mankind
by Tommy Gimler Forget Whitney Houston telling Diane Sawyer that crack is whack or Michael Jackson encouraging the whole world to allow children into their beds in an interview with Martin Bashir. The...
View ArticleWho Are The Worst Fans In Major League Baseball?
by Tommy Gimler I ran into a Dodgers “fan” at the local liquor store this afternoon who surprisingly spoke English and was actually paying for his unusual order of Keystone Light and two cups of...
View ArticleNot So Fast Jacksonville And Oakland, The Cleveland Browns Have Announced...
by Tommy Gimler Apparently the Cleveland Browns front office and scouting personnel feel acquiring Jadeveon Clowney is worth throwing away their entire 2013 season, as they have traded last year’s...
View ArticleTake The Gun Out Of Your Mouth, Cleveland, Because The Indians Are Going To...
by Tommy Gimler Holy Christ. Being a sports fan in Cleveland these days is a lot like dating a bipolar broad. Yesterday, we touched on the Cleveland Browns front office assuring their fans of another...
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The Best Of The DUD 2013: Charles Ramsey Gives The Greatest Interview In The...
by Tommy Gimler Remember when those kidnapped girls in Cleveland were finally found, and Charles Ramsey gave the greatest interview ever while that skinhead biker looked on, showed the back of his...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Cleveland Indians
by Tommy Gimler The Tribe won their final ten games last year, and they needed every single one of them to make their first trip to the postseason since 2007. A return trip in 2014 isn’t out of the...
View ArticleUh Oh, Browns Fans: Vince Young Is Trying Out For Your Team
by Tommy Gimler The two or three Browns fans we’ve spoken with who live outside of Cleveland, and we think that might be good enough to say that’s 100% of them, can’t stomach the fact that management...
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One Year Ago This Week: Charles Ramsey Gave Us The Greatest TV Interview Of...
by Tommy Gimler It’s not too often that we take a step back from the now to honor something that took place a year ago. Throw in the fact the story has nothing to do with sports, and you should now...
View ArticleOnce Again, Cleveland Indians Fans Are Fucking Pathetic This Year
by Tommy Gimler I love the Tribe. In fact, I love watching them so much that I went to Progressive Field to watch them get curb stomped by the Oakland Athletics on a Friday night in May when the game...
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Here’s A Reminder Of What Dan Gilbert Said About LeBron James When He Left...
by Tommy Gimler The internet has a huge boner right now, as there are many signs pointing to LeBron James returning to Cleveland to “rescue” that shitty franchise and take them to the promised land....
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Fox 8 News In Cleveland Put A Wig And Mustache On A Midget And Reenacted...
by Frank Rhombus Midgets = Ratings. Look, I’ll be honest: I couldn’t give two runny shits about Johnny Manziel. He was the backup quarterback for a three-win team in a dog shit town overrun by heroin...
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Three Things To Do As A Browns Fan Other Than Kill Yourself
by Tommy Gimler If you’re in Cleveland and rooting for the Browns – and only the Browns – may God have mercy on your soul. Let’s be honest: The Cleveland Browns are a heaping pile of pig shit. Still,...
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Odell Beckham Asked Twitter Where He Should Eat And You Can Probably Guess...
by Tommy Gimler Let’s just say there will be no room for dessert. Here you go, kids. It’s this simple. OBJ asked the Twitter world where he should eat in Cleveland: What’s the best place to eat in...
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